It’s been a year and a half since I released “Dark Is Light.” A year and a half since I was in the “zone” of writing and recording and getting to nerd out in a studio. A year and a half since we left family, friends, and half-a-house in storage, moved to California for Greg’s job opportunity in pastoral ministry. Since then, it has become quite obvious to me that the days of luxurious, uninterrupted studio time are a thing of the past… and maybe yet a thing of the future…
But with a 3 and 1-year-old in tow, and the unique challenges and joys that accompany this “age and stage,” it is most certainly not a thing of the present. A fact which I most wholeheartedly embrace! I love being a mom and wouldn’t think of trading it! But in the midst of growing in my call as a pastor’s wife and mom, I have felt an equally growing call to continue to pursue music as God provides opportunities.
And provide He has!
I have been surprised by even more opportunities than I’ve been able to accept, which is indeed humbling. I continue to prayerfully say yes when I can, leading worship, singing at events, and accompanying fellow musicians.
Other times, with gratitude, I decline, knowing that God, my husband, and my young children come first. My eagerness to serve, to use my voice and gifts, to write, arrange, record, and collaborate will always have to be carefully weighed against my primary calling as a wife and mom.
Sometimes I must find satisfaction in a toddler jam session in the living room (which is awesome, by the way) rather than in the creative energy and whirlwind of rehearsal, studio time, or a live performance. And I embrace that diversity! What and honor to impart my love of music to my children. Or, sometimes to just reserve that creative energy (which would otherwise be spent on a musical outlet) for story time on the couch, an outing to the park, or a much needed date night.
But it doesn’t have to be one or the other!
Lately, I am learning to be a Momsician. Living and creating in the “present” of fragile 2 hour nap-time slots, with towels stuffed under the bedroom door and duct tape holding the mic to its stand. I accept as a precious gift the few moments I can steal to be inspired and make art.
And I still have diapers to change, laundry to do, and dinner to make. But there’s inspiration in that too! There’s LIFE there, and a tender kind of exhaustion in parenting and ministry that is, when seen through the lens of Gospel gratitude, truly fertile soil for the art and music-making.
All that said, I look forward to sharing with you very soon my most recent “nap-time” project: an arrangement of the beautiful, old Advent hymn, “Lo How A Rose E’re Blooming.”
**** You can now listen to “Lo How A Rose E’re Blooming” here.